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Licensed Psychotherapist, Jason Phelps shares advice on age differences in relationships and the issues surrounding them, including Parentification, Children and Prejudices.
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Age is just a number. Love doesnt notice age.Simple as.People the same age can b together for a while then split up the same with age diference.Lots of people are not together forever so just enjoy the happiness with each other.
age gaps is more common these days especially women being older. I think its only fair since man have been with much younger woman for decades...woman have the right to love no matter how younger the man is if he is an adult. Love and happiness is whats important.
I'm 30 divorced and 2 kids. I've been talking to girls 18-21 and they are the most stubborn and picky ever. I know that they're still young and can find someone better without kids or married before...I know I know....smh
I married a Romanian woman 24 years my junior. We had a wonderful relationship for 6 years; we made love almost every night. But it turned out that money was her true love and she left to go to California to seek her fortune. Sadly, it hasn't happened for her.
Age really make no difference in relationship.But for me the woman should not be older than the man.Not because he is immature or not wise.It is true if the age difference is very big like 20 yrs.How do you think this older lady is going to function normally with a young man who is 20 yrs her junior.Just my humble opinion.
The max age difference shouldnt be more than 7-8 years, it can be bigger in special cases if 2 people are in love, but Ive unfortunately seen alot of pedos in my country's army that make all kinds of excuses to why it would be okay to have a relationship with a girl 15-20 years younger. On top of this most of these assholes already are in a relationship or have a family.
The ideal is definitely if you find a partner who is within that 7-8 year range in difference.
To be wise and smart you must have first been an ignorant fool and all young people are ignorant fools. It can't be helped, it's just part of being young. Learning and wisdom is for the old and it is the job of the old to teach the young to pee on the electric fence because ... that'll learn ya'.
My wife of 30 years died 15 years ago at age 72. She was 12 years older than me. I began shopping for a new mate at age 62, after the 2 year grieving process. After meeting nothing but "gold digging hoes" for 10 years I decided to go online where I found a cute Filipina age 25 with no kids and a college degree. I brought her here on the "K-1 FIANCEE VISA" and married her 4 years ago. She is my FOURTH and by far the best wife I've ever had. Briefly, she is 100% opposite in every way from the MURCAN "skanks" I had met the previous 10 years. Shes 5', 95# with "all the right stuff in all the right places". Shes VERY funny, HAPPY, non-bossy or religous, smart, sexy, athletic, great cook and housekeeper, NON materialistic or shallow and we are "soul mates". To this day she has yet to ask me for anything! But of course I do spoil her. I asked her how come she would be interested in "an old fart like me" before she got here to the states and her answer was: "Guys my age are losers that only want to play, I am seeking a mature, educated, successful WHITE man who has his act together and is ready to marry". She told me she was "never interested in Filipino dudes but they admired her". She is a very MATURE and wise lady for her age and we both feel it was a "miracle" we found each other. L/T RELATIONSHIPS are all about COMPATIBILITY and we are blessed to have this. What we find funny is when we are out and about, young dudes will eyeball fok her sometimes even though she dresses conservatively and FUGLY OLD MURCAN SKANKS will give us the SKUNK EYE which I find to be HILARIOUS.
I am a 76 year old man about t marry a 43 year old lady. We have been dating for about a year and a half. And we love each other very much. She lost her husband about 8 years ago. She wants to have 2 more children by me (has names picked out already for a boy and a girl. Shhe had a son from her previous marriage. We have discussed this many times. Any comments about this relationship. I do know that the last year plus has been the happiest of my life. Neither of us can't wait for the wedding day to come. Her son is in his late 20's + and he and his girlfriend have both given us their blessings.
Comments would be appreciated .
I’m appalled at the number of young guys who think they want to make it with an older woman! My initial response is “WHAT are they thinking?”But of course, they are NOT thinking. When a young man is aroused, he will f*ck anything. This is why I cannot be flattered by their attention. In a best case scenario, such a union would have the stability of a neutrino. Still, if I were into fly-by sex, I would choose the sweet young thing every time! I am rarely aroused by men my age. Freedom and celibacy have brought me true happiness.
Why is this such and issue? I think if both are mature people why should what others think even matter? We do have
a lot of problems with perception of what is considered better but it's really the couple who ultimately decide what
really matters to them. I do understand his point on whether they must come to decide if they want a woman of
child bearing age. There is something freeing about not worrying about surprise pregnancy when and older woman.
And of course not worrying about hormonal issues once you pass the monthly cycle. There are advantages just depends
on what is important to the couples.
Im 17 and my boyfriend is 27. I dont understand why people have such a hissy fit about it. We're both really happy. We tried dating once and he thought i wasnt mature enough for a relationship with him so we broke up. We recently got back together and we both know that ive matured enough.
I’m 19 and my man is 32 and I’m in love with him and so is he for me. He is going to collage right now since he was in the military for 10 years so we are at about the same point in our life career wise. And he has told me many times he didn’t want kids till he is in is very late 30’s so by then I would be 25 and would might think about having kids at that age for myself. Other than that we have never fought once or had any arguments regulating from the age difference ever.
Cool like That Go for it as long as you agreed on all important issues even if you have some differences. Talk about core as well as little things, be open and honest with each other. It can be done.
I was 43 when I met my husband who was 31, I wasn't looking for relationship but somehow it happened and we just clicked as we have similar views on almost everything to the extent it was scary, even when I raised the issue of not being able to give him children as an excuse to not be together, which I won't want him to miss out on, he just said adoption or even fostering he's all for it. We got married 14mnths after and we were ecstatic as I got pregnant naturally ,gave birth at 44,45 and the twins arrived at 47. I know I am lucky first for finding the man for me. Don't pass it on the best thing in life, to find someone to love and who love you back.
Most girls dont like dating guys who are younger than them,when u ask them why they tell you he's not mature and stuff,well what u dont know is that age and maturity are not necessarly related.A 16 yold can be more reasonable and mature than a 30 yold
fadi azzam compatibility and not age you mean? I could be the same age but your energy level are polar opposite and your views/ taste are different. That is why you might not date/ be attracted to all your classmate who are your age mate.
To me age gaps matter how big the age gap is. I don't care if my friends date someone 29 years older than them it's there choice but for me I wouldn't the youngest of date would be 3-4 years and oldest 5 but that's it . I don't care if there my true love or anything that my limit.
Parentification can happen in all relationships regardless of age. It is one of the things that annoyed me with some of my friends is watching them parent their partner. I learned from watching them not to do it to my partner.
I'm a 21 year old woman, and my partner is 34 (we have a 13 year age gap, for those bad at math lol). Let me tell you people out there questioning it; IT'S FUCKING HARD. We have neighbors that call him a child molester and a predator, and I am looked at by others as a gold digging whore. my family is on the verge of disowning me because they are so disgusted by it, and his friends feel uncomfortable being around us. My old friends (not my friends anymore) called me stupid, said I had "mad daddy issues" and once again, my man was called a molester. It will never be easy, people will treat you like garbage. Even now as I am having his child, people question my intentions. I just love the man, and he loves me!!!! We are happy together, and so proud of our little boy together, especially since we're both first time parents. I just want people coming here with questions to know, it's damn rough, but if you can push through all the bs it's worth it to be with the one you truly love. But definitely prepare yourselves for the onslaught.
I've been having amazing sex with a woman who's 17 years older than me. I'm 23 so do that math playboy! Honestly, I would never imagine this happening to me. I'm one lucky mother fucker no pun intended! I think this will go down as the best sex I've ever had!
everyone has their own ideas on the best age gap and thats fine . but in a nice way of saying this. date who u want as long as there both happy .people got to live there own lives and we should let them . i like a age gap in my Relationships dating people my age gets a bit boring we have to much in common. to me thats boring .
Ki The greatest To be honest my parents are ten years apart and yet they still love each other. If my parents can be together even though they have an age gap, then I can do it too with Daniel. My parents don't even know about me and him and one day, I asked my parents, "So hypothetically speaking, if I ever have a guy that's ten years apart from me, how would you guys react?" And you know what they said? They said that it's ok, as long as he's treating you right and your happy. Well for the next couple of years, until I'm 18, me and breezy's love is forbidden. By my family of course and I've only told two people that I've trust about me and Daniel and they're both ok with it!
Ki The greatest The guy that I love isn't a jerk or anything. He's sweet, kind, funny, and he hasn't done nothing bad to m once we got together. Me and him have been together for nine months and he had bad past gfs because all of those girls hated him for who he is and I'm the only girl he truly loves because I'm staying with him because I truly love him. I think you hate it because a, you don't understand or b, you just hate it and it disgusts you. I respect your opinion if you don't like it and I hope you can respect my opinion too. 😏 And besides I HATE guys my age. Because a, they don't know what they want, b, they only like girl's who are either skinny and troubled cuss-worthy. I'm 16 and I don't cuss in front of other people, only under my breath. I also hate guys because a, they judged me for how I act and b, for what I love and care about and it's My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and other cartoons.
My boyfriend is almost 18, and I'm 29 we are almost one year together...as long as you are happy and it is legal GO for it, dont keep anyone from your happiness. Just remember if you want babies, don't wait to long at 34 she is reaching her limit for having babies.
Concurrent with these concepts is the cadre of sencient men who realize what a loosing deal marriage can be. Men trying to rescue their soverignity after the media, feminist politics, and the courts have made the marital equation an unfavorable risk equation with regards to money and personal legal freedoms. These man are organized in the international "MGTOW" movement. Search MGTOW and find out why this is so true...
This is a yr old comment but I hope this 15 yr old child got over her infatuation with this 30 yr old man. This young woman deserves to be with people her own age. She has no life experience an is naive to everything that is this world. She is gullible, as young girls are at this age to men. No man or young man should be around ladies at this age any older than 17. A 30 yr old is a man not a young boy, if she loses her virginity it should not be to a man. If she were atleast 21 or better yet in her twenties that would be more to her advantage. The only time people should be concerned about age difference is when it involves Men or Women who are taking advantage of a child and this is when the adults have to intervene. ✌
Harmony it is entirely normal to have crushes on older men at your age. However, if either of you were to act on your attraction, it would be psychologically harmful for you in the long run. You cannot see it now, but trust me.
+Allapattahgoon I'm saying that that person is already old enough to make their own decisions. It could be better if the person was 21 or more, because when we are younger we don't know many things and we can be less responsible because we are growing up, but that depends of the person.
And that also as to do with the law. If two people are more than 18, it's not a crime. (in some countries)
But in my previous message I was saying that if that person is more than 18 it will not became a problem with the police, so in that side is fine. But what they and their families and their friends think is their problem and I don't know that.
As I don't know the person I say that that person can date the other woman because they are both adults according to the law. But I don't know them and I don't know what they think.
And you said that someone said to me that 18 is "aldut". As I said before: According to the law it's fine. BUT it doesn't really means that that person can be responsible, well-mannered and knows many things. Because a 13 years old can be more responsible than an 18 years old. It always depends of the person. But the person who asked if their relationship was fine because he's 18 and she's 32, the normal answer would be "yes" (and give a reason) or "no" (and give a reason) I couldn't say "Well, that depends..." and then make lots of personal questions...
So...I hope you understood what I mean now. I know what you thought because I didn't say many things in the other message but in this one I said more things so I really hope we are fine... (I didn't say anything to offend on purpose and I also didn't want to say that you are wrong because I agree with you; 18 year old doesn't really mean "adult". It does with the law but it depends of the person so that is kinda more important. But normally people with 18 years old lived long enough to know how life is (expect if they were born in a super rich family and never needed to know anything or tried hard to get something :v)).
Cant these old men with kids or old men, or men with kids just LEAVE ME ALONE?! I am getting pissed off already that sometimes I want to shave my head and scar my face so that they can just leave me alone.
I am a 16 year old male, I like this 13 year old girl (sounds creepy me tbh but just listen) she is very mature for her age, I often forget she is younger than me. In my eyes the 3 year age gap between us really bothers me but at the same time does not. We are in a relationship and have kissed only to go as far as making out. We talked about it and have agreed if we would like to have sexual relations at all it is better to wait till a later date. I'd like some input on this as we both really like eachother, just not sure how it looks to others, we have not told very many people yet.
unfortunately I have seen many people who have been forced out of relationships because of their age differences. most of the time it is either the girlfriend's parents who sees you as a failure or it is the boyfriend's parents who pictures the girl as a low class piece of trash. I understand that most parents want what's best for their sons or their daughters but they have to allow them to grow up and follow their hearts. never allow age difference to be a factor against you or your intended partner if both of you are happy with each other.
jamie wyatt Wait until your 18. Personally I'm 14 too and when I'll be 18 I think 6 yrs will be the max for me. Not that 6+ years is bad, its just my comfort zone, and tbh, I think 5 yrs is perfect (at age 18) for now we should keep it as 2-3 yrs.
That is not a problem what so ever, my partner and I have a 10 year age difference and we have no problems either, but we are both really conservative and want the same things in life. More then a 10 year age difference is going to be hard though.
My rule is this, (but i'm not prejudice to other views) in dating age must be within ten yr age bracket whether older or younger. The way I look at it is, if the person ur interested was old enough to change your diapers when you were born you might want to think about it twice. The max I would consider though for myself personally would be maybe six years younger to perhaps three years older, that's just me at least
Gentleman take warning by me, do not get married young. Instead devote yourself to making money, but do not get married till the age of 40-55 . Do not marry a woman with children !!!!! Make your money first, see the world, run with the bulls, go scuba and sky diving, get a pilot license , hit lots of hookers, after twenty or more years of this lifestyle you will probably be bored, I was . Time to start a family pick out a cute girl between the age of 18-23 who smiles a lot with a big heart and a tight ASS, and spoil her rotten. This has worked out very well for me .
Diana Rose. Women look better then men when older. these days it looks better with an older woman and younger man.I know a couple the lady is over 20 years his senior n she looks younger than him and stunning and cute. They devoted t each other. I always say if they both over 30 who cares!!
Ultimately it comes down to the legality and determination of the people in question. You can make any age gap relationship work, if you are both willing to work very hard to maintain a healthy relationships, unless it is illegal, in which case the law can cause obvious problems.
Marie but I read your other comment that your bf is almost 18 and you are together for one year...that means you were dating him when he was just 17 so why your commenting that it is not acceptable for an adult to date a kid under 18 when you did so. I don't understand 😐
My boyfriend is 17 and I'm 28..we dont sleep together because we remain virgins until marriage it isnt sick as long as the other person is of free will and you have age of consent and the parents agree. Which in my case they do :)
It obviously makes a difference within the relationship but that's between them. I can understand it if someone's in their late teens and there's a big age gap, but once they're in their 20's they're surely old enough to know what they're getting into, and if they still want to enter a relationship with someone who's a lot older that's completely their business. If anything I find the puritanism around those kinds of relationships a lot creepier than the relationships themselves.
Edit: Why are all of the comments from people in their early teens?
I met my boyfriend when I was 12 and he was around 18. (we was just friends back then) now I'm 17, and he is 22, and he is such a fucking kid, when I'm around him, but in a nice way. He also told me that he love that he can be that way with me, because all his friends are so mature, which he also is around them.
I think that will definitely change when we both get older, but we enjoy each other for now.
Kielee Grace why they should not date under 18 because u will fall in love and u won't realize untill u guys have sex and u might get pregnant and that is a disaster and u might regret having the baby and also under 18 is still called a kid cause ur mind is not fully ready and u won't see how life is going and still have billion years to live and u will decide ur future with that person so early u will tell me that u love him i will tell u i loved him too when i was 15 but feelings changes darling trust me u will understand that after u get 20 or more
is it ok for a 14 year old to date a 18 year old, keep in mind its long distance and been friends before... i dont understand why you cant date until your over 18, if your not having sex there shouldn't be a problem like wtf, i respect the law but this one is so damn stupid, if a 18 year old 22 year old or a 22 year old and a 26 year old ....is it not as horrible the older you get ? honestly your delaying relationships bcoz you cant handle the truth that some people see thru society expectations or fall for someone for there personality first bcoz most times thts what catches people... now answer whats the difference when we only have one life. laws make us scared to love.
Ok. My best friend is 19 and I am 11. I tell him everything and anything. People call me a slut and they call him a perv. I know I am not of legal age, but I am not doing anything more that hugging with him. We get judged a lot. I always say age doesn't matter, because in this case it shouldn't. Am I right? We are *not* in *any* kind of relationship other that best friends.
I don't find myself lucky that old men are approaching me. Because, they are making me feel like I'm naive or foolish. When, I'm not! This is my life! If ever I'm gonna marry a guy, I only want him to be at least 5-7 years older than me. That's it! I don't wanna have a husband who is a decade or more than decade older than me because its no fun to marry someone like that. Old men just wants to take away young women's youth and make them their personal caregivers or nannies to their kids. I don't wanna be his caregiver nor his children's nanny from his previous wives or girlfriends, ok? This is my life. :D
+Min Chan Lee guys that you're talking about are perverts, we're talking about men who actually wants to be in a relationship with younger female (with consent of course). Also if men are bothering you so much why don't you block them or report them?
That is if both the young girl and the old guy agrees to be with each other and has mutual feelings towards each other. In my case, NO. That's why I dont agree with it., These old bastards cant force me to be with them when I already said NO multiple times to them. You can't force love to happen. Forcing things to happen is not love at all.
The older person if you are referring to a man is supposed to be the head of the household. The problem is in today's society the man has become feminized and women no longer want to be with a man that takes control as he was designed to do. Very good video not biased. Just addressing possible problems without stereotypes.
I disagree, I think different dynamics work for different people. Just because some people find that 'traditional' gender roles work for them, that doesn't mean everyone else does. Personally, I don't mind a slightly more feminine man (David Bowie wouldn't have been sexier with flannel shirts, a large beard and a beer gut) and I'm perfectly content to be the 'head' of the household (I don't think there's such a thing, I think it ought to be a partnership).
I agree, and as a woman who is 10 years older then my partner I tell you he has not have problems with leading our relationship, a man should be able to be a man and woman should be able to be a woman if you have that covered you have an amazing relationship.
I'm 22 (23 in march) I recently got into a relationship with a 46yr old women :-) we both connect so well, so many things in common and she has brought the best out of me; as I was (still a little bit) shy. We enjoy each others company and I've been at her house for 3wks straight 31/12/15-20/1/16 she has two kids both older then me by 1-2yrs. I'm happy and she is happy all that matters. She keeps letting me know that in a few years or so I'll find someone younger (my age) but that's the thing I don't want to, I've never been so connected with anyone else but her. Family as accepted it (afraid of what they were going to say) but no they're supportive of us :-)
hey ladies please can i have an honest. answer when is to much and when is acceptable a age difference relationship please give me a really honest answer can you really feel love for someone older than you thanks in advance.
I am middle aged now but when I was young I was never attracted to anyone more than 6 or 7 years (max) older than me. I did try a much older man once and for me at the time, it was gross. I would say stay within 10 years older or younger and you should be OK. I know there are exceptions but to avoid problems later on, this is a good rule in my opinion.
Rodriguez Chavez I know this is old but I'm still answering. I personally don't care if my friend dates someone 20 years older than them it's there life. But I wouldn't if it was me the youngest I'd date would be 3-4 years and oldest 5 years but that it
If saying an age gap is wrong, that's bullshit. Everyone should be able to love who they want to! Who cares if your older than someone you love and care about? If you like someone, go for it, don't worry about a stupid age gap.
KlassyJ not being negative in any kind of way but what that person is 11 and the person is 26? That to me is a serious issue man. Wouldn't you agree? Cause if I have a daughter i wouldn't want some older man like that after my child or my child after that person.
Ughh... My parents don't get how age doesn't matter . And my dad way older than my mom. I'm a freshmen and he's a junior, were only 2 years apart. But when u think about it when why does age matter if you really like each other. Why is it so important.
Ughh... My parents don't get how age doesn't matter . And my dad way older than my mom. I'm a freshmen and he's a junior, were only 2 years apart. But when u think about it when why does age matter if you really like each other. Why is it so important. This really pisses me off.
Ughh... My parents don't get how age doesn't matter . And my dad way older than my mom. I'm a freshmen and he's a junior, were only 2 years apart. But when u think about it when why does age matter if you really like each other. Why is it so important. This really pisses me off.
I'm 13 years old and my Brothers girlfriend is getting this guy to talk to me but he just turned 16. He seems really nice and he is perfect! I don't think that there is anything wrong with 3 years of an age difference but my mom told me only 2 years the max. I'm mature physically and mentally as a 13 year old though. And I'm in 8th grade he is a sophomore in high school. So we he would be graduating high school when I'm a sophomore and 16 years old. Is this wrong or is the age difference okay?
Now aged 20 and we are still together. I was a reckless and self destructive girl. I didn't believe in myself and thought I was too stupid to ever make anything of myself. Now I am a strong, stable and intelligent women studying at university. I have started my own business which is growing successfully and I am much happier than I ever hoped to be. All because he believed in me when I didn't and I love him with all my heart. We were born 15 years apart and guess what... it hasn't made the slightest bit of difference. We have a love that others dream for- so I don't even think twice about the age gap
Sturnidae honestly a person with a so rigid mindset as you should not judge anything at all in this world, because it would just lead to fascism and third world war... with you out of the equation people would actually be free, literally. So stay out of people’s life!
Legal age? There is no place the same as the next... in some countries is 21 right in Turkey they are changing it to 12... in Scandinavia it is 15... but who you are as a person can vary A LOT between individuals between 12-21 ... so what is legal might not be the best way to judge if you are ready
altho 16 is the age people can have sex and Relationships. until there both 18 its up to the mom and dad if they can be together. once your 18 u make your own rules on who u wont to date and yes age is just a number date who u wont
Sturnidae May I ask then why in most European countries is the age of consent at 16 and at age 14 in many parts of Japan? Personally if the 2 are consenting and are genuinely happy and fluorishing with one another, I don't bat an eyelash to 16 and 20 or 15 and 19. Though to an extent I agree that when younger the largest boundary that is put up by people is the "maturity" difference argument. Personally if you're able to make whole-hearted conscious decisions for yourself you deserve to exercise your relationship without hindrance from the law. In some ways I respect 15 and 19, 16 and 20 relationships because it shows that the 2 people value growth and learning. Sorry for my rambling.
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